Addition & Introduction

Marriage adds an abundance of blessings to life. Some specific Marriage Acquisitions may include:

a husband

a cute little house

kisses

a cook

muscles

a mother-in-law

The above mentioned acquisition is a truly dear mother-in-law. The addition of her to my life has been quiet the blessing. (You thought I was going somwhere else with this whole "addition thing" didn't you! -And for the record, the answer is "no.") My mother-in-law is gifted with mercy, a creative ingenius and has recently discovered her talent with the pen. Her last piece was a charming description of her son, my husband. After reading it, I could think of no better way to introduce my Jamie (Jim, as you all may know him).

"Some children are so rough and tumble that you can’t help but be concerned about their well-being. Jamie wasn’t like that though; he was a different kind of child. Indeed, there was an endearing gentleness about Jamie. How precious for a mother to witness such a sweet nature in her son. He had a beautiful rosy complexion, soft red hair, dark gray eyes and the most wonderful smile you’ve ever seen. Though just a bit on the small side, he had the abundant energy of any typical toddler but was never rowdy or difficult. Yet, first-born sons have expectations to fill and examples to set. Would Jamie’s tender heart be equal to the task? How well would he cope with the challenges of life?

"On his first birthday, the house was filled with family and friends. Jamie seemed a little bewildered but still seemed to enjoy all the activity. Everything went as planned until it was time for the cake. Not quite sure what to do with the small cake on his high chair tray, he eventually did what we all hoped he would. He made a big mess of himself and ate a little bit of the cake. Thankfully, he waited until after we got a few pictures before he did the unexpected- he brought it all back up! Too much excitement had produced a nervous stomach. It seemed that my son didn’t handle stress very well!

"Several months later, Jamie had a new experience at the home of some friends. We adults were looking at some slides, but Jamie was discovering his shadow. We enjoyed the slide show, but Jamie didn’t approve of his shadow at all. Because of the intensity of the projector lamp and the small size of the room, the shadow did seem to do strange things. As his efforts to move away from it failed, he was filled with terrror. Hoping to convince him a shadow was a fun thing, we all manipulated our own shadows, but there was no calming him. Our docile little Jamie wanted none of it, and our evening out abruptly ended.

"He didn’t care for rough-housing, either. One evening when he was about three, his daddy got on the floor to wrestle with him. Jamie wasn’t interested and after unsuccessfully trying to escape , he ordered, “Daddy, quit horsing me around!”

"As he got older, like most proud parents I looked for new milestones, but found that Jamie had to be prodded to attempt any new activity. It took some coaxing to get him to climb on his jungle gym, and when someone picked him up and set him in a tree one day, you could see the panic in his eyes. Later, he pleaded with us to leave the training wheels on his bike. It seemed there was not an adventurous bone in his body. He was going to take the road less traveled,at least by little boys. He was going to take the safe road.

"With his gentle nature, his diminutive size, and his cherubic looks, it was inevitable that Jamie’s fearfulness would make him the target of some neighborhood bully. That did happen, and on one occasion I literally had to rescue him from the hands of a 180 lb, 5 foot 10 inch tall 14 year old! I still wonder what might have happened if Jamie’s little brother had not run home to get me.

"No matter how hard he tried to avoid it, Jamie’s little-boy life was an adventure. Challenges and trials come into the lives of even little boys, but with wise and loving guidance such experiences will help to build character and confidance. The boy who was once afraid of his shadow is now an adult with numerous adventures under his belt, including two years on his high school wrestling team. He has experienced and revelled in mountain climbing, bungee jumping, spelunking, white-water rafting and wilderness trips. He has traveled to three continents, and will soon be moving to a foreign country to serve as a missionary.

"His hair is not quite as bright as it once was, and his complexion has lost that rosy glow, but the child that he was has made him the man he is today. The fear that once controlled him has become determination; his sensitive nature that once restrained him has allowed him to respond to God’s call on his life. What better example could he be? And all those expectations? Abundantly satisfied!"

To see more of my mom-in-law's writing, go to: www.faithwriters.com and search for "Debbie Engle."

Now That You're Married - Be Quiet!

Being dedicated to recording some of the most invaluable lessons learned and experiences had by me, as a missionary wife, I believe I should start with the most earth-shattering lesson that I, in my nearly 8 months of marriage, have learned. The telling of it often produces tears (mostly for the ladies and for me, the teller) as I recognize the very awesomeness of God in my life.

While minding my own business, being the best little missionary wife that I can be (when I'm not whining about something or other), several comments (okay, just three) were hewn at me, seemingly from nowhere. These comments caused me to doubt my identity altogether and made me ask the question, "Why, God, did you make me this way!?"

(These comments are as close to the original quote as possible)
Comment #1: "You shouldn't correct your husband in public"
Comment #2 (or rather, Question #2): "Are you having an trouble letting Jim speak?"
Comment#3: "You really should be careful not to over-power your husband."

Yikes. All in ONE week, mind you.

After Comment #1, I was a bit confused seeing that the "correction" I made was merely a matter of Jim switching the words around in a sentence, hence making it very funny to hear and my suggesting that he take the words and put them in the right order. I then evaluated the situation and decided that I would zip my lips. I didn't think it worth it to cause a stir.

After Comment (Question) #2, I replied, "Not at all! He does the preaching!"

This was followed by the clarification that the word "speak" really spoke of social-like speaking. So, I uttered something about our personalities being different and just left it. I felt quite defeated, especially after Comment #1, so I put a lid on it, and didn't speak.

After Comment #3, I cried.

Here's the situation. One Sunday night, after Jim and I practiced for special music, a very dear older lady, seasoned-missionary-friend, Mrs. So and So, offered her advice.

"Sarah, you are a little louder than Jim, maybe you should back down a little and Jim should sing out more."

Yes, my voice does carry about 1 mile further than his; his voice tends to be blocked by an invisible wall somewhere just past his nose.

I was very ok with this music-type advice. I'm used to it. I decided that writing the dynamics in would be a novel idea, so that Jim and I would be on the same "volume" page when the time came to actually sing the song in the service (which, by the way, went very well).

So, as I'm sitting down in the front pew, pencil in hand, and Mrs. So and So continues to offer advice that goes beyond the realm of music. This advice was summed up in Comment #3.

"You really should be careful not to over-power your husband."

An emotional downpour ensued. I think partially due to the previous Comments #1 and #2. Like they say, "It was the straw that broke the camels back." And I felt like a big, dumb camel with a broken back, uttering strained words through every tear.

"When you're single everyone says 'You're so outgoing and talkative and we love that about you, Sarah,' and then, all of a sudden, when you get married, they all seem to say, 'Now, BE QUIET!'" - Boy, don't I sound confused!

I began then, to seriously ask God, "Why did You make me this way? How will I EVER fit the bill as a 'Missionary Wife' or even a wife, in general?"

All the boys dispersed (awkwardly, I may add,) one being my very sensitive, teary-eyed husband who very distinctly felt my pain (I had been venting to him about it all week), and Mrs. So and So and I had a nice little heart to heart.

The rest of my week was significantly better since the number of comments ended at 3, and my episode of tear-spilling probably deterred any other comment that might have been said. I had no idea yet, but God would answer my question of "Why?" through 3 more comments, each one slowly alleviating the pain of the former 3.

My husband and I attended a special dress-up type luncheon later that week. During this luncheon, the soon-to-be-appointed missionaries of the Baptist Mid-Missions Candidate Class of 2007, which included us, were invited to stand up and give testimonies about the past week and what we have learned during the intense class-attending and note-taking on, basically, "The In's & Out's of Missionary-ness with BMM." Still feeling as though my question remained unanswered, I felt accutely aware that I, broken camel-back, loud, out-spoken, too outgoing, and talks-too-much Sarah, could NOT give a testimony of what I learned. I basically wallowed in self-pity.

"Boo-Hoo, poor me, I have no idea who I am, and why I'm here. I won't fit in anywhere, much less, Germany."

Fortunately, though, many of our other classmates had very encouraging things to say and I was pulled out of my basking-in-self-sorrow moment. But, it was't until this guy from Germany, Stephan, stood up to give his testimony that the 3 Icky Comments began to be combatted. I don't remember word-for-word what his testimony was, but he made a point to mention how "pleased" he was that "Jim and Sarah are going to Germany. They will fit right in there."

So, I thought that maybe there could be hope...or maybe he's just being nice. I wasn't willing to believe the former yet, as I was still gaurding my pride.

"What a nice comment," I thought, ignorant still that it would be the first of 3 new comments that would reverse the effects of the arformentioned 3 Not As Nice comments.

The next day (that sounds like such a cliche transition), Jim and I were approached by Mrs. So and So's husband, Mr. So and So.

"I thought you might like to know this," began Mr. So and So. "I was talking to Stephan after prayer meeting on Wednesday, and he mentioned to me how happy he is that you two are going to Germany...."

I'm thinking here, "We've heard this already, but how nice of Mr. So and So to be encouraging and relay the message on again."

"He said that your personalities will fit in well there," Mr. So and so finished.

What's this I hear? Do my ears decieve me? This comment had a little more meat to it...he said, "your personalities will fit in..." The defeating feeling that Comment #2 laid on me was soon diminishing with the aid of this wonderful new realization.

"Thank you, Mr. So and So. Thank you for sharing that" was my VERY genuine response.

Only about 10 or so minutes following Mr. So and So's conversation with us, Mrs. So and So arrives with her beautiful smile in tow.

"Sarah, I really wanted to tell you this..."

My mind traces the last conversation. I'm almost sure it will be the same thing. But, I hold out and decide to hope a little. After all, she is a woman, and we have this way of communicating this with great gusto and detail.

"Sarah," she said in her very kind and calming voice.

"I have been praying for you, that God would show you His purpose for making you the way He did. I felt awful for making you cry and I thought, 'Who am I to judge God's creation?' So, I began to pray about it."

I was already very blessed by her very sweet and genuine comments (this easily took care of 1/2 of Comment #3).

She continued, "My husband came back from prayer meeting on Wednesday and said he had a conversation with Stephan. Stephan mentioned that your and Jim's personalities will fit in well in Germany..." tears began to well up in her eyes, thus, mine as well.

"He said that the men (Pastors and Missionaries) in Germany are expected to be authoritative and out-spoken behind the pulpit," (which Jim is).

"but are expected to be more reserved outside of that," (which Jim is).

"and," she continued, "the wives are expected to be more outgoing and friendly," (which I am).

What an entirely welcoming relief! See, God did have an answer to my question the whole time. It's amazing enough that He allowed me to see that in the same week I began asking Him. But, to think, He planned that personality compliment between me and Jim long before I was in ministry, long before I was saved, long before...in my mothers womb. How very incredibly awesome is He.

Well, there you have it. My "why" question was answered. Oh, I know there will be variables in the ministry. That is to be expected. But this is the sum of what I have learned. I should always be myself. God made me to fit in wherever He puts me.

I Welcome Myself...

I'm welcoming myself to my blog. I feel like having a big welcome type shin-dig after the very long hours I spent (somewhere around 8, I didn't know how to use Photoshop before now) trying to figure out how to turn this run-of-the-mill blogger template into something "my own," instead of looking like the blog down the street (?). I learned about hexadecimals, which include more than just decimals (?), html jargon, and about trial and error. Grr. The trial part was ok. It was the error thing that drove me nutso and reminded me of how patient I SHOULD be. See, these are good missionary, good ministry, good anyone things to know. Plus, "Hexadecimal" is a cool word. It makes me feel all smart and techie when I say it.