The Love of Our Heavenly Father

Recently, I heard the song "Can You Hear Me?" by Mark Schultz. There was a lyric that stood out, "let me take his place somehow..." and caused me to think on the sacrifice that God made in offering up His son to die in our stead, so that we may have eternal life. I am thankful for a husband who willingly sacrifices for his girls, in order that they may know God's love. I truly am blessed to see the compassionate love of God paralled in the love that Jim has for our family.

Thinking about that truth also made me think of the contrast which, sadly, happens all too often. A father sacrificing his children for his own selfish ambitions. I realized how truly sacrificial Jim is with his time. He will spend hours playing with and reading to his girls, even though he could choose to do so many other things. To see him invest in them thrills my heart. To see him lovingly discipline and teach them (more Josefine than Cornelia, these days) to honor God with their choices provides security and stability. I'm so thankful for the light that Jim brings to our home by eminating God's love to us.

May we see the joy in sacrificing for truth and for the glory of God and seek to please HIM above ourselves so that our children may grow to love Him as well.

30 Days of Thankfulness .Day 5.

I'm thankful for the cute little guitar Joy Sherman gave me. Jim is re-teaching me the basics (and it's coming back quickly, YAY!) and we're singing "Jesus Loves Me..." Another truth I'm so thankful for.

Every night before bed, we sing "Jesus Loves Me" to Josefine. And she yawns in the middle of the song each time. It's fun to know that seems to be a bedtime cue for her. Although I've often wondered if this will lead to her falling asleep during Sunday School in the future! Haha!

Really, though...lately when we've been singing it to her, I've been putting a bit more thought into it. I'm trying not to just "sing" it or teach Josefine that Jesus loves HER, but I'm trying to ingest that yes...Jesus loves ME, too.

The words "they are weak, but He is strong" have really stood out. I don't think I take that thought with me throughout the day. I come to something difficult and most often, my immediate thought is..."I can't!" Well, it's a good thing I realize that it is I who cannot...in my own power. But, have I really lived out the truth that it is GOD who is made strong in my weaknesses?

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. ... For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Excited to announce...

...that we're going to have a BABY!

That's right! I said BABY! B-A-B-Y!

:) It seems that this blog has turned into an update on our latest baby news...hehe...sorry! But, I'll try better to post more of what's going on in other areas of life as well.

Lately, we've been traveling like MAD...hence the lack of posts. And I've been so tired lately and feeling much more nauseated than I did with Josefine, and I've been working on oodles of photos ...and traveling (that one requires being mentioned twice).

We've been blessed, though. I have no complaints! Every twist and turn in life has run right into a blessing! We are so thankful for such a loving God!

Oh, yeah...and I'm due May 4. :) Yeeeeeee!

An Ode to Lessons Learned

On Tuesday night, I joined my dear MIL as she attended a meeting for a local writing club. At first I was going because I wanted to spend some time with her, doing the things she liked and it was only a bonus that I enjoy a little writing myself. As it turned out, I was challenged and inspired. They were sharing their "odes" from the previous assigment, and I was privileged to be able to hear some of their work, especially my MIL's ode...it was my favorite. I decided that I would go home and write an ode, too.

Lately, the Lord has brought our miscarriage to mind through circumstances in lives of loved ones, and I remember the lessons He taught me as He carried me through that difficult time. So, I wanted to write my ode (which, I learned is often in the form of a poem) to the lessons I learned.

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An Ode to Lessons Learned

October would bring a joy to us,
baby #2.
Our hearts were filled with eagerness
but some fear and nervousness, too.

See Josefine was only
A fresh, young 9 month old.
And here, we would be welcoming
A new little one to hold?

Could I question God’s plan in this?
Could I trust Him to provide?
For the strength to give more sleepless nights,
I needed to survive.

But a Mother’s heart is born to give
And I knew that God would bless.
All I needed to do was trust,
And believe that His way is best.

Soon my fears gave way to joy,
eager to meet this one, so small.
Already my heart was part of this dream
And my flesh, part of this miracle.

But one day there was a trickle of blood,
A sign that something was wrong.
I prayed that this might be a fluke,
And it wouldn’t continue for long.

God seemed to have a different plan
And the bleeding continued for days.
Again I questioned if this could be
part of His perfect way.

The doctor told us that there was
“99% chance”
that this pregnancy wouldn’t work;
there was no way it could advance.

Then, I looked to God’s Word for guidance,
Sought His wisdom and His peace.
And realized that whatever the outcome,
His love for me would never cease.

But hope still lingered and faith was strong
That maybe…our baby could be alive.
I prayed with tears that the statistics were wrong.
Could this little one survive?

It struck me that prayer is a delicate thing,
You trust and yet you ask
For something that your heart so desires
For a life that would last.

March was the month that brought the answer,
we officially said good-bye
To hopes of an October baby.
Relief mingled with sadness, our mixed reply.

It wasn’t long before I saw
That what would really last
Was knowing that it was God’s goodness
That harbored me in the past.

His love would bring me comfort now,
Just as it had before,
When the storms of life would throw me down,
Leaving an open door...

To build my faith upon His Word
And believe that through all the pain,
He never will leave, nor forsake;
My loss is His glory’s gain.

Exceedingly Abundantly Above All

"Now to Him who is able

to do exceedingly abundantly above all

that we ask or think,

according to the power that works in us..."

In times past I would often apply this verse to something physical and think...God will provide the money I need for this missions trip exceedingly abundantly above all...God will provide the money we need to fix our car exceedingly abundantly above all. It was a Faith Booster of sorts. A reminder that God's plan is far beyond anything I could imagine, and that I could patiently and prayerfully wait on Him to provide my physical needs. And while this is true and definitely not a wrong way to apply this verse, I have been challenged to go beyond the physical.

Lately, I have been reading and studying the subject of Biblical Womanhood. Something I thought I had a pretty good grasp on...and now realize, I very successfully do NOT. It was a little draining to think of all the things I am not and need to be to truly live my life biblically. Instead of feeling encouraged, I was feeling discouraged and not very motivated. I know my tendancy to fail, and it far outweighs my tendancy to do the dishes or vaccum the floor (which, obviously are the all-encompassing characteristics of a godly woman...that was a joke). And because I began to actually STUDY what Biblical Womanhood really is, I could no longer fall back on the "doing" of being a good wife and mother. I realized there was much, MUCH more to being a godly (not just good) wife and mother...it's not like I was reveling in my cooking and cleaning skills to begin with. Just ask my husband. I've used my vacuum like...6 times since we've been married (that was NOT a joke). So, all in all, I realized how much of me SPIRITUALLY needed to change...and it was a lot. I started to wonder if there was anything called DIgressive sanctification, because my PROgressive tank seemed to be running on empty.

It wasn't until Jim shared with me something he had been learning from scripture that I started to feel like there was hope for me yet. It was Ephesians 3:20. He said he was reading it to remind himself that "yes, God will provide for our physical needs" and instead read the context of the verse, beginning in verse 14... " For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us."

If you really read the context, as Jim encouraged me to do, you'll see that it's really our sanctification...our spirtual growth...that God will provide exceedingly abundantly above all for. Boy, that sure takes the pressure off of ME, because it's not by MY power at all, but the power of God that works in me! Now...not to say there won't be plenty of effort on my part, but what an encouragment AND motivator to know that God will provide for my need to grow spiritually and to honor Him in my role as a woman.

Blessings and Humility

Jim and I were talking today about how sometimes it seems that receiving blessings from God are just as, if not more, humbling than going through a trial...they are reminders of God's goodness to us when we have done nothing to deserve it! This weekend, we experienced several reminders of just that. First, a surprise gift (paid for quilting session and some new fabrics!) from the Missionary Ladies group on Saturday. Then, some brothers and sisters in Christ have given sacrifically toward the repair of our car! And, finally we got *cough, cough* by a Trooper who happened to be a Christian and instead of giving us a ticket, he told us that we can now add to our testimony that the Lord brought along a Christian Trooper and we chatted about deputation and church and then went along our merry (and a little slower) way. Now, THAT is a humbling blessing. ;)

Reflections on Hansi

So, I'm reading this book recommened to me by a sweet friend of mine from church. It's called "Hansi: The Girl who Loved the Swastika." Wow...it's an intense book. I'm not even DONE with it, and I'd recommend it. I love reading WWII books...especially true stories. It always humbles me and makes me thankful for how I am blessed to know Christ as my Savoir and to have a hope in Him. At the same time, reading these accounts often strikes fear in my heart - fear, I hope, that will be diluted by security in my God and Savior. At times, I have woken up having dreams (rather, nightmares) that we're in some controlling environment and I'm trying to escape. Reading books like this makes me thankful for the food we have...an abundance. So much so, that there are times it goes bad and we have to throw it out. Oh, what some would give for even rotten food! We are so blessed. I'm thankful for the clothes that fill (overfill) my closet. Is it not amazing how free we are?? ...and yet...

Hmmm, I'm really at a loss for words, except to say that getting back to my WWII reading has really made me think again. This book, Hansi, in particular is about a girl who had NO clue what the German government was doing, but just wholly trusted Hitler's plans and promises. She learned not to question him and just trust. She was an orphan, so she found her "home" in Hitler's ideals and dreams of a powerful empire. She felt as though she finally belonged somewhere...and so she followed. How many people out there are looking for a home for their hearts and find it in something so empty and temporal? How many people must suffer continual lostness and lonliness, sacrificing themselves, only to find that, at the end of the road, all was for naught? What if they knew of an eternal comfort in God...a family in the body of Christ...a cause that is eternal?

One thing that brings me to tears as I think about it is the mercy of God...that, even though His beloved Israel has been through so much, He still wishes for ALL to be saved. I don't know the end of the book. I don't know if Hansi becomes a Christian yet. BUT, what I do know is that there HAVE been people directly involved or affected by what happened in WWII, and they have been introduced to the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ! How very merciful and loving our God is. I can barely fathom it. Also - on another note. It's amazing to think about how perfect God is and that even when we're not secure with the leadership of sinful man, we can be eternally secure in the leadership and love of a Holy God.

Faith & Understanding

Hello friends,

Thank you ever so much for your continued prayers over the weeks.

Last week, we miscarried. God has been so good through it...so gentle and merciful. So loving. We have been surrounded with loving people and uplifted in prayer. God's word has been a comfort over and over, and the peace that passes understanding has been evident. We praise God for this peace, that only HE can give through times like this.

I've learned to be thankful during a time that doesn't seem natural to be thankful. Again, it's not of me, but of God. His strength has been made perfect in my weakness and all the glory goes to Him!

We were priveleged to spend a week at a Missions Conference in Albert Lea, MN last week. God knew it was exactly what we needed. The spiritual encouragement and daily time together in God's word, focusing on living for HIS glory was such a blessing.

Now that we're home again, back to the grind, I find it a bit more difficult to focus...to be motivated to take the next step of the day. BUT, God is still a very present help in trouble, and I'm praying for the strength to rely on Him, even during the day to day goings on of life.

Again, thank you all for praying. It's been a tremendous help and blessing. We are confident that God has done what was best for us and our baby. We trust His goodness and love and although, there are times I seek answers to the "WHY's", I realize that I don't need to know, but I just to trust.

During yesterday morning's sermon, Pastor preached from Mark 8 about the disciples on the boat with Jesus, fretting because they forgot the bread. Even after they had seen Jesus provide food TWICE for a multitude of people...their unbelief caused them to lose focus on who Jesus is, and instead, they focused on themselves, their reasoning, their inabilities, etc. And, their unbelief caused a lack of understanding. Something Pastor said really stuck out to me at that point. Faith proceeds knowledge and understanding. How can we even hope to understand what God is doing if we don't trust Him first? And, will I, like the disciples, forget what God has done for me already, and respond to life's circumstances like He's never provided before? God forbid. I pray I would let the lessons of this experience linger throughout my lifetime, and that God would receive the glory...

Faith Without Words

Faith, I've realized these past 3 weeks, is exhausting. I mean, I've had to excercise faith for a certain circumstance before, and everyday, we live by faith. But, lately...I've been taken to a completely new level of faith. Like...faith bootcamp...or something. It's strenuous.

Perhaps I can look back to other trying times in my Christian experience, and realize how it was physically tiring to go through that...actually, I can...and I shouldn't be surprised, but it's been so long...and here I am again, in the thick of it. Thankful for the blessing it is...causing me to need God...to lean on Him. Oh, and I'm so thankful I have Him to lean on. He knows my frame, that it is dust. I need Him when I'm so, so, very tired...and even more so when I think I'm strong!

At the beginning of this new journey of faith, I thought "Hey, this isn't so bad...I mean, faith is faith...you trust God." I knew that in my mind, but my spirit would soon catch up and feel the rigor of hardcore, constant faith. After two weeks had passed. Two weeks of waiting, praying, wondering, hoping...I was feeling the drag. My body wanted to collapse sometimes. I was sleeping in more, napping more and ready to go to bed sooner. Not to mention, my body probably has been going through some phyical and exhausting changes as well...on top of the spiritual battle.

My prayer life has changed. I feel drained after praying, physically drained. I feel like I can't "shout" out my plea loud enough, I can't ask too much. I realize what David meant when He asked God in the Psalms if He could hear his plea? At times I would think...well, of course He hears...He's GOD! But, I also knew that it's a human plea...it's desperation for God to hear...to be connected to Him. I could argue that point, and understand it..but it's become much more real to me now.

By the end of the day, my brain can't even focus enough to know the words to speak when I pray. I just...pray...without words. REALLY excercising faith...without words.

At times like that, I'm tempted to feel like I'm praying incompetently. But, I'm not. I'm reminded of this passage...especially the verse in bold. But, oh, does this whole passage touch my heart in so many ways.

Romans 8:18-28

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

It's Already March?

I'm so bummed. I didn't even realize it was March 1st yesterday...and we missed celebrating Josefine's 8 mo! Since there was no 29th of February, there was no 8mo-on-the-dot celebration, so I hadn't decided yet if I wanted to celebrate on the 28th or the 1st of March. Welp...guess that decision is made. We'll celebrate today! :) Josefine is 8 mos! I'd call this an extended celebration!

In other Baby News...we're still waiting and praying. I have another appointment on Thursday. I have yet to schedule it, but Doc wanted me to come in on Thursday or next Tuesday, and since we're going to be in MN for a Missions Conf. that week, I won't be able to go on Tuesday. I would have liked to wait a bit longer than a week from the last appt. but, this is what God clearly wants...so, Thursday, it is!

Also...I've been thinking about "Miracle Babies" and it hit me the other day, that we are surrounded by them! With all the millions of things that need to go right (scientifically and medically) for there to be a healthy human being, EVERY single one of us is a real miracle. Some days, I think it's amazing that I've survived these past 28 years, with all that could go wrong. Obviously, God can supercede science and medicine. And knowing that brings so much comfort and peace.

I look at Josefine and I think..."here, we're pleading God for a miracle, and look at the one He has already given us." Not that I'm still NOT pleading for God to protect and give this baby life, but, wow...to sit here and ponder what He HAS given us. I can barely wrap my mind around it, and I'm left overwhelmingly thankful.

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts,

to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful."

Colossians 3:15

Still God

I was running a WalMart errand today when I saw a friend from back home (the growing up "back home"). She has been encouraging me with sweet notes since I've started sharing the pregnancy experience and all it's questions. When I saw her, she graciously offered to be a listening ear if I ever needed it. She shared her stories of similar experience. We chit-chatted and then said our "good-byes."

And, while sitting in the car, munching on my Super Potato Ole's before heading into the store, it hit me. Perhaps it was the beautiful music on NPR that aided. Or maybe it was just exhaustion, emotions and hormones. Or, all of the above (most likely). I wasn't quite an emotional wreck, but I would choke up every now and again (thankfully not on a Potato Ole)...thinking, wondering, hoping, praying.

"God, am I supposed to go through this?" Of course, the answer is "Yes." Everything has it's purpose.

And thoughts of both extremes, a miracle baby or a miscarriage, came flooding through my mind...and I could cry at the thought of both!

And I began thinking of this song, "You are Still God." And I remembered...that whatever happens, God is STILL God. He will not change through this...He, thankfully, will change me. I thought of this verse, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17

Thank you, God...that YOU will always be the same...and the giver of all good gifts.

Thank You

Thank You, Lord, for...

• Keeping me safe, healthy and thriving these past 28 years.
• Saving me.
• Blessing me with a loving and supportive husband, who would do anything for me.
• Working in ways I don't understand, so I can learn to trust You more.
• Loved ones who are praying for us.
• A beautiful and healthy daughter.
• A roof over my head.
• Friends with whom I can share my burdens.
• Your Word, and the truth within that has changed my life & my perspective.
• This experience is drawing us toward Yourself.
• Hope.

Tomorrow we have an appointment. We're going to have another ultrasound, and we're praying that we would be able to see our baby. So far, no miscarriage, so there is hope. Please pray with us...and thank God with us for His goodness, faithfulness and mercy. We truly don't deserve such love, but are blessed beyonds words with it...in abundance.

Also, pray for us tonight as we have a meeting at a church about 1 hour away. Obviously, after a week of waiting and praying, I feel a bit exhausted physically. Jim has been studying and preparing his presentation. This experience has also been heavy on his heart and mind, which might make it difficult to focus. We'd like to share our burden for Berlin with this church and also share our hearts...what God has been teaching us about faith in Him. Because, really...it will be an element of our life and ministry for the remainder of our days on earth. We're also singing a song about God's faithfulness. Chances are, I won't make it through without a little break down, but I'm hoping I can sing it without blubbering too much...the message is so vital, I'd hate to be a distraction.

Thank you again for praying...God is good!

God of the Ages

We sang the hymn "God of the Ages" this past Sunday in church. I couldn't help to sing with a smile on my face because of the amazing truth this hymn communicates. I couldn't help but rejoice that God IS the God of the ages...past, present, future...and a sovereign God, who plans our paths in mercy and love.

Through this waiting and wondering what might happen with this pregnancy, I've been reminded of God's goodness and faithfulness to us. There is peace in the truth that God has been good and faithful to me all these many years, through trial and joy. Why should He stop now? Or, why should I stop trusting Him now?

Here are the lyics to this hymn...and like I was on Sunday, be blessed by these words that can be fitting for ANY and ALL situations that come our way.

God of the ages, History's Maker,
planning our pathway,
holding us fast,
shaping in mercy
all that concerns us:
Father, we praise You,
Lord of the past.

God of this morning, Gladly your children
worship before You, trustingly bow:
Teach us to know You
Always among us,
Quietly sovereign,
Lord of our now.

God of tomorrow,
strong Overcomer,
Princes of darkness
own your command:
What then can harm us?
We are your people,
Now and forever
kept by your hand.

Lord of past ages,
Lord of this morning,
Lord of the future,
Help us, we pray:
Teach us to trust You,
Love and obey You,
Crown you each moment
Lord of today.

How Do I Pray?

Last night, Jim and I had a really good discussion on prayer. We looked up some verses and really enjoyed our time in God's word together...passages like Matthew's Sermon on the Mount..."ask and it shall be given"..."God gives good gifts" (reading it together brought tears to our eyes) and Jame's, "ask in faith, without doubt" and Christ's example of prayer in the garden, "take this cup from me...Your will, not mine be done."

I was kind of perplexed about how to pray specifically that God would give our baby health and strength, and yet...I wanted to pray for His will, too. My mind was having a hard time wrapping around the thought. I almost felt like I couldn't pray specifically if I was to pray for God's will, which could be anything. This study in God's word revealed that praying specifically is good...and praying for God's will is good, too. BOTH are what he wants us to do. That's exactly how Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.

We also talked about crisis, and how it brings us exactly where God wants us to be...it's not wrong to admit that...it's human that we respond that way. It'd be nice if I were obedient and desperate for God just because I'm SUPPOSED to be...but, I know myself better than that...and so does God. If this didn't rock our world...what would? On the other hand, we also discussed that really...there IS a crisis...a DAILY crisis in our hearts. Satan vying for our attention...a constant spiritual battle that supercedes ANY physical, worldy crisis. A crisis that is really even bigger than what we're experiencing today. The crisis in our hearts should be what drags us to God daily...our DAILY crisis. Even when everything is peachy from the world's point of view, I HAVE to recognize my need for deep, intimate fellowship with God on a very regular basis. I have to be desperate to thrive spiritually. As desperate as I am for this baby to thrive physically. Intense stuff, I know. But, oh...so amazing, true and beautiful!

I'm so thankful that God is using this time in our lives...even during the unknown...to draw us closer to Himself. God is already using this baby in amazing ways. I pray that someday, he'll know just how God used him to bring Mama and Papa to their knees, humbly recognizing our need for Him and for His power in our lives. I pray that the work God is doing through this baby will not stop...that perhaps as a child...and as an adult he will still be used to point people to God. That is the prayer of my heart...

Your will be done, Father.

Welcome a New Blogger & Other News

My real-life bloggy friend, Julie, just started her blog today. I love it...because it's so...real. I like honesty...candidness. It's truly beautiful. And I think Ju is a beautiful person who has a lot to share with this world. So, you should head on over to her blog, welcome her to the Blogosphere and take a dive into the life of Julie. It's quite refreshing. Well, it was to me, anyway.

In other news, I still don't have my Flickr account upgraded. Which means I'm going to have to sneak you some more photos via my public Facebook link. Here is one that just posted...mmmm, snow. Every little detail of it.

So, I met a happy person yesterday. SUCH a happy person. It was the guy at the McD's Drive-Thru. He smiled so big and sounded so incredibly happy, I suspect he may have been a Christian. I mean, his countenance really radiated JOY! It was refreshing and at the same time, convicting. Do I radiate joy? Do I make people wonder if I'm a Christian? Do I pass on the joy that is in me? Now, I really don't know that this man WAS a Christian, but what I DO know, was that he was joyful. He could have just gotten a raise, or engaged or anything that could bring a smile to ones face for a few hours. But, this seemed permanent. This seemed real. Makes me want to go back and ask him!

Well, that's about all I have to say. Thanks, Ju, for motivating me to get back on here and post something!

"O" Magnify the Lord...

The last several days, I've been reminded of some of the key characteristics of God. These reminders - these truths - have been sustaining truths that keep my hope set on something solid.

God is: Omnipotent

He is an all-powerful God...nothing is too difficult for Him.

Jeremiah 32:17 "Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You."

God is: Omnipresent

He is everywhere. Niether time nor space can contain Him.

Psalm 139:7-10 "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me."

God is: Omniscient

He is all-knowing.

Psalm 139:1-6 "LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue,behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before,and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it."

And while we're looking at Psalm 139...

Psalm 139:13-16

"For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them."

Josefine at 20 weeks



You can find more "O's" at ABC Wednesday!

Yesterday's *WishList* Wednesday: Fabric Fetish + The Fab Five + Friends

Whew...it's taken me FOR.EV.ER to get to my blog today. So, so busy...playing catch up and getting some much needed down time.

And because of that, I'm writing three posts in one.

(yesterday's) *WishList* Wednesday: Fabric Fetish

I have this thing for fabrics...and lately (like, for the past couple of years) Amy Butler Fabrics have really, really stood out to me. Love them. They're just so...pretty. Yes..."pretty." I know "pretty" seems like such a dull and overused word. But, I really think that "pretty" sums it up for these prints. By the way...color is on my *list* of favorite things. ;)

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The Fab Five

My most recent giveaway was focused around my new Canon 50D and giving it a well-deserved name. I got 14 name suggestions, 5 of which my hubby and I chose to enter into the drawing for *winner*...and THESE are the Fab Five. Drumroll, please.

Phoenix

Glory

Pachabel

Ansel

&

Dexter

Stop by tomorrow to see which name was chosen by our handy-dandy....Random.org.

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FRIENDS

I wish I could sum this section of my post up as well as Sylvia...she hit it right on the head...and now, can't think of a better way to share this exciting part of our yesterday (was that REALLY yesterday???). But, anyway...here goes. Eh-hem...

Like a speck on flower or the Man on the Moon

or the lashes of babies and the cool morning dew,

are two different people - not in sight, nor in view

but, find a friend in eachother and in time, through and through

blog post after blog post...and their friendship grew.

See, we found there wasn't so much difference between "me" and "you"

and that sharing and giving brought to life a bright hue.

I'm thankful for all the new blog friends I make,

but especially for those with whom I share coffee and "cake". ;)

For Sylvia.

It was also VERY nice to meet you and yours...until next time!

Decision

So, you all may know by now that one of my passions is photography. I love it...really. I'll be honest...I know NOTHING (well, mostly nothing) about the technical aspect of photography, and I'm okay with that. I'm pretty much all "right brained..." when it comes to, well...life.

Anyway...all that to say: I've made a decision. Actually, God made me realize that I needed to make this decision, and quick. I am no longer charging for my work. All of my shoots from now on will be "free will donation" and all proceeds go to our support fund. Clients will then recieve a receipt from the mission board as though they gave a "one-time" gift.

My decision was mainly: I'm a missionary FIRST, then a photographer. It seemed that my "business" was getting too "businessy" if you ask me. Things were getting way technical and I wasn't enjoying it quite like I used to. My photography hasn't turned into a business officially, but it was well on it's way. I needed to somehow rearrange my focus from the everyday to the future. Where were we heading? What is our goal as missionaries? For awhile, all of the money I made doing photoshoots went to baby things. Lots of baby things. But, we're no longer needing funds for big baby things. Just the norm. Now, I feel really convicted that I should be using my talents for God ALONE. No more keeping things for myself...it's not mine...none of it. God has equipped me a gift and I will serve Him with that gift.

That, my friends, is my decision.

And because a post is ALWAYS better with a picture...

What I Love about Deputation

I have to admit, Deputation and I have a love/hate relationship...but, I try hard to focus on the "love" part of it...

• Meeting new people. I enjoy meeting new people so much...it's energizing and refreshing after a long ride in the car, breathing re-circulated air for hours. At times, I fear I may emerge from the passenger seat looking like a escapee from an institute - but, new people bring a smile to my face and bring me back to life!


• Talking about God's Faithfulness in my life. EVERY time I share my testimony of salvation, my (true) joy is restored (Psalm 51:12). Too often, I find myself forgetting what I'm doing and why I'm doing it...forgetting that it's all about Him and His glory alone.


• Singing with my husband. Jim and I sing in the car and behind the pulpit. I am blessed to be able to share this gift with him and use it to declare God's faithfulness as well.


• Living out of a suitcase. My first impression of this idea wasn't too hot, lemme tell ya. No one likes to live out of a suitcase, do they? Well, I've learned to love it. I have less outfit-options and it seems I'm much more content with "what to wear?" I don't change fifty-bajillion times before I leave. I have only a handful of options...and that's soooo good for me.


• Our chances go up for interesting things happening to us. Example: Jim got stuck on an elevator today. Twice. The Maintenance Man at the hotel had to manually move the elevator from floor 5 to floor 1. Needless to say, Jim was a bit nervous and I'm glad I wasn't there. I'm not sure the Maintenance Man would have been so successful if I was...if ya catch my drift.


• Hearing how God is working in lives of other believers all over the U.S. Testimony after testimony - we hear how God has provided for others, and how He has brought them from here to there and proved His faithfulness over and over. We've stayed at a woman's home whose husband was killed in 9/11 and were amazed at her steadfast strength and dependance on God. And that's just one example of many.

I could go on...but, you get the picture. I'm thankful for deputation - the ups and the downs of it; the highs and the lows...and seeing how every circumstance, given by God is a blessing and yet another reminder of His faithfulness.

And because a post is ALWAYS better with a picture...

Am I this kind of friend?

My friend, Sarah, shared a piece of her life with us today, and I was reminded what TRUE friendship is...it's weeping with those who weep, rejoicing with those who rejoice...and getting the same haircut when your friend doesn't have a choice. THIS is friendship, in it's purest and most innocent form. And it made me ask myself...am I this kind of friend?

WARNING: Keep a box of Kleenex handy.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

Romans 12:15