Last night, Jim and I had a really good discussion on prayer. We looked up some verses and really enjoyed our time in God's word together...passages like Matthew's Sermon on the Mount..."ask and it shall be given"..."God gives good gifts" (reading it together brought tears to our eyes) and Jame's, "ask in faith, without doubt" and Christ's example of prayer in the garden, "take this cup from me...Your will, not mine be done."
I was kind of perplexed about how to pray specifically that God would give our baby health and strength, and yet...I wanted to pray for His will, too. My mind was having a hard time wrapping around the thought. I almost felt like I couldn't pray specifically if I was to pray for God's will, which could be anything. This study in God's word revealed that praying specifically is good...and praying for God's will is good, too. BOTH are what he wants us to do. That's exactly how Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.
We also talked about crisis, and how it brings us exactly where God wants us to be...it's not wrong to admit that...it's human that we respond that way. It'd be nice if I were obedient and desperate for God just because I'm SUPPOSED to be...but, I know myself better than that...and so does God. If this didn't rock our world...what would? On the other hand, we also discussed that really...there IS a crisis...a DAILY crisis in our hearts. Satan vying for our attention...a constant spiritual battle that supercedes ANY physical, worldy crisis. A crisis that is really even bigger than what we're experiencing today. The crisis in our hearts should be what drags us to God daily...our DAILY crisis. Even when everything is peachy from the world's point of view, I HAVE to recognize my need for deep, intimate fellowship with God on a very regular basis. I have to be desperate to thrive spiritually. As desperate as I am for this baby to thrive physically. Intense stuff, I know. But, oh...so amazing, true and beautiful!
I'm so thankful that God is using this time in our lives...even during the unknown...to draw us closer to Himself. God is already using this baby in amazing ways. I pray that someday, he'll know just how God used him to bring Mama and Papa to their knees, humbly recognizing our need for Him and for His power in our lives. I pray that the work God is doing through this baby will not stop...that perhaps as a child...and as an adult he will still be used to point people to God. That is the prayer of my heart...
Your will be done, Father.