Wednesday, August 4, 2010

An Ode to Lessons Learned

On Tuesday night, I joined my dear MIL as she attended a meeting for a local writing club. At first I was going because I wanted to spend some time with her, doing the things she liked and it was only a bonus that I enjoy a little writing myself. As it turned out, I was challenged and inspired. They were sharing their "odes" from the previous assigment, and I was privileged to be able to hear some of their work, especially my MIL's ode...it was my favorite. I decided that I would go home and write an ode, too.

Lately, the Lord has brought our miscarriage to mind through circumstances in lives of loved ones, and I remember the lessons He taught me as He carried me through that difficult time. So, I wanted to write my ode (which, I learned is often in the form of a poem) to the lessons I learned.
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An Ode to Lessons Learned

October would bring a joy to us,
baby #2.
Our hearts were filled with eagerness
but some fear and nervousness, too.

See Josefine was only
A fresh, young 9 month old.
And here, we would be welcoming
A new little one to hold?

Could I question God’s plan in this?
Could I trust Him to provide?
For the strength to give more sleepless nights,
I needed to survive.

But a Mother’s heart is born to give
And I knew that God would bless.
All I needed to do was trust,
And believe that His way is best.

Soon my fears gave way to joy,
eager to meet this one, so small.
Already my heart was part of this dream
And my flesh, part of this miracle.

But one day there was a trickle of blood,
A sign that something was wrong.
I prayed that this might be a fluke,
And it wouldn’t continue for long.

God seemed to have a different plan
And the bleeding continued for days.
Again I questioned if this could be
part of His perfect way.

The doctor told us that there was
“99% chance”
that this pregnancy wouldn’t work;
there was no way it could advance.

Then, I looked to God’s Word for guidance,
Sought His wisdom and His peace.
And realized that whatever the outcome,
His love for me would never cease.

But hope still lingered and faith was strong
That maybe…our baby could be alive.
I prayed with tears that the statistics were wrong.
Could this little one survive?

It struck me that prayer is a delicate thing,
You trust and yet you ask
For something that your heart so desires
For a life that would last.

March was the month that brought the answer,
we officially said good-bye
To hopes of an October baby.
Relief mingled with sadness, our mixed reply.

It wasn’t long before I saw
That what would really last
Was knowing that it was God’s goodness
That harbored me in the past.

His love would bring me comfort now,
Just as it had before,
When the storms of life would throw me down,
Leaving an open door...

To build my faith upon His Word
And believe that through all the pain,
He never will leave, nor forsake;
My loss is His glory’s gain.

10 comments:

He & Me + 3 said...

BEautiful Sarah. I have been there and i can totally relate to this poem & ode. I read a church board a while back that has stuck with me and has gotten me through so much it read "God uses the storms" just knowing that HE has got it all under control and our loss is HIS glories gained. Awesome

Julie said...

That was beautiful friend. Your faith in the Lord is also beautiful.

melanie said...

Oh Sarah! You are such a dear friend.. thank-you for teaching me and others with your faith through this struggle.

{-Abby Girl, Rom. 8:28}

Braley Mama said...

My heart breaks for you sister. you amaze me with your faith and strength through this. That is a beautiful poem. I found you from Mimi's blog. My husband and I are just getting started on our missionary life, so I am excited to start reading your blog:O) Praying for healing for you!

Together We Save said...

Beautiful poem... praying for your sister.

He & Me + 3 said...

Sarah,

Those last two comments are friends of mine. I posted about our meeting today. It was fun meeting you. Please email me next time you are in michigan!
Hugs,
Mimi

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

Oh Sarah! *sniff* That was beautiful.

This part really touched me tonight as I've been thinking about Christian and the 2 year anniversary of his passing coming up.

His love would bring me comfort now,
Just as it had before,
When the storms of life would throw me down,
Leaving an open door...

To build my faith upon His Word
And believe that through all the pain,
He never will leave, nor forsake;
My loss is His glory’s gain.


He was missing for 4 hours before they found him. During that time, I cried out to God. It was also during that time that I remembered God's faithfulness and answer to prayer so often in my life. He is faithful no matter what! He does not change- He is the same yesterday, today and forever. It is WE who change! And we can change for the BETTER, even when it hurts and often through the hurt. Because one day, we will see our precious babies again. And when we do, we WILL also say to GOD be the glory!

faith, hope, and love said...

That was REALLY good! You have a talent for writing too, but does that surprise me? No, not at all:o) Thank you for you perspective on dealing with your painful loss. It's always a comfort to know when you have lost a loved one that they are in the presence of our GREAT God!

Josh Healy said...

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Carrie said...

You are an amazing writer - loved your poem! I loved hearing what God has done in your lives since the miscarriage, and through it as well! Thanks for sharing!

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