Thursday, February 25, 2010

Not in Despair

The ultrasound was today. This was also the orginal appointment for my OB workup. But, because there was no sign of baby in the ultrasound, Doc decided against the regular appt. and said we can either wait, or do a D&C. Again, we're waiting. We were disappointed, of course, but not in despair. God is STILL good. God is ALWAYS good. We're basically in the same position we were this past week. Waiting and praying...hoping and relying. So, strangely, I don't feel a sinking feeling, but that we just have to keep pressing on, trusting God, until one thing or the other happens...it's exhausting, but stregnthening all at once.

One of my friends commented on my Facebook that she's praying for us and that she understands we must be struggling. Yes. This IS a stuggle. A struggle that, I'm sure, will bring glory to God and build our faith. Priceless gifts from God.

Here was my response to her.

"It is hard...but perhaps not as hard as it may be if there is a miscarriage. Right now, I'm just taking things in stride. Keeping life normal. Doing all the regular things. Not letting this be a source of depression...not letting the fear or worries linger, but relying on the strength of the Lord, and trying to remain joyful through all the waiting. No doubt, there have been tears...and deep moments of desperate cries to God. Thank you so much for praying...my heart is encouraged just knowing that. ♥"

I can still only imagine the deep pain and grief that will come with a miscarriage. I'm on the brink of it daily. I've said before, that as soon as you see that "positive" sign on the pregnancy test, you're attached, physically, emotionally, and mentally to this life that is in you. Separation (even at birth...I know...strange, but I did have an "empty" feeling -no pun intended - when Josefine was no longer ACTUALLY a physical part of me) is NEVER, EVER easy, no matter what stage.

I've been thinking about this verse today.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

Thank you for your continued prayers and labor of faith with me. I'm so overwhelmingly grateful.

12 comments:

Julie said...

I prayed for you today.

Amanda said...

I am praying for you and know the Lord has a great purpose for all of this. My husband tells me frequently that " hard isn't bad it is just hard." The Lord loves you more than you could ever imagine.

Donna said...

Continuing to pray.

. sarah . said...

Sarah, you are and will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so thankful He is there to carry you through whatever you may endure.

Amy@My Front Porch said...

Praying for you Sarah!

Do you mind my asking? When you found out you were pregnant, how did you know that there might be a problem? Did you have an early doctor's appointment?

Sylvia C. said...

Sarah,
I've been checking in on things through facebook... and I've been thinking and praying for you all, all day today.

xoxo

Sylvia

melanie said...

Sarah,
When you have time, find Granola Mom 4 God on my bloglist and read Jodi's story of her little Joelle. And then I'll send you my response to her post.
Hugs & prayers <3

I love to talk... said...

You guys are such a testimony through this, and as I was saying at the mall an inspiration too. I love your positive outlook on this and will continue to keep you and baby in my prayers. Thanks for hanging out today! It was fun!

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

i am praying for you. keep thinking on the things of God and what you know to be true. even if you are unsure of how to pray specifically, God knows your heart. He is faithful in all things!

much love,
marsha

H-Mama said...

(((((Sarah)))))

Heather said...

Sarah,
You don't know me. I'm a friend of Susie C.'s. She shared with me about what is going on in your life with this pregnancy, and I told her I would pray. I'm praying for you and your husband during this time. She also gave me your blog addresses. So, I've been reading. I pray for the Lord's strength, peace and grace for you all at this time.

cybil said...

Father, we pray for the protection and health of this precious baby, the wonderful parents & sister.
Amen.

Greetings from Geneva!
Sibylle

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