An Ode to Lessons Learned

On Tuesday night, I joined my dear MIL as she attended a meeting for a local writing club. At first I was going because I wanted to spend some time with her, doing the things she liked and it was only a bonus that I enjoy a little writing myself. As it turned out, I was challenged and inspired. They were sharing their "odes" from the previous assigment, and I was privileged to be able to hear some of their work, especially my MIL's ode...it was my favorite. I decided that I would go home and write an ode, too.

Lately, the Lord has brought our miscarriage to mind through circumstances in lives of loved ones, and I remember the lessons He taught me as He carried me through that difficult time. So, I wanted to write my ode (which, I learned is often in the form of a poem) to the lessons I learned.

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An Ode to Lessons Learned

October would bring a joy to us,
baby #2.
Our hearts were filled with eagerness
but some fear and nervousness, too.

See Josefine was only
A fresh, young 9 month old.
And here, we would be welcoming
A new little one to hold?

Could I question God’s plan in this?
Could I trust Him to provide?
For the strength to give more sleepless nights,
I needed to survive.

But a Mother’s heart is born to give
And I knew that God would bless.
All I needed to do was trust,
And believe that His way is best.

Soon my fears gave way to joy,
eager to meet this one, so small.
Already my heart was part of this dream
And my flesh, part of this miracle.

But one day there was a trickle of blood,
A sign that something was wrong.
I prayed that this might be a fluke,
And it wouldn’t continue for long.

God seemed to have a different plan
And the bleeding continued for days.
Again I questioned if this could be
part of His perfect way.

The doctor told us that there was
“99% chance”
that this pregnancy wouldn’t work;
there was no way it could advance.

Then, I looked to God’s Word for guidance,
Sought His wisdom and His peace.
And realized that whatever the outcome,
His love for me would never cease.

But hope still lingered and faith was strong
That maybe…our baby could be alive.
I prayed with tears that the statistics were wrong.
Could this little one survive?

It struck me that prayer is a delicate thing,
You trust and yet you ask
For something that your heart so desires
For a life that would last.

March was the month that brought the answer,
we officially said good-bye
To hopes of an October baby.
Relief mingled with sadness, our mixed reply.

It wasn’t long before I saw
That what would really last
Was knowing that it was God’s goodness
That harbored me in the past.

His love would bring me comfort now,
Just as it had before,
When the storms of life would throw me down,
Leaving an open door...

To build my faith upon His Word
And believe that through all the pain,
He never will leave, nor forsake;
My loss is His glory’s gain.